RESET…Let that Shit Go!!!!!

“If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down.”-Buddha 

Nature is the ultimate RESET

My husband and I were on the other side of town and determining where we should meet for lunch before an appointment. Let me paint you a picture, our community is barrier islands off the coast of the U.S. state of North Carolina, separate from the mainland and has Route 12, and the beach road. If you catch my drift, we only have two roads, the other side of town is ridiculously close to where I spend the majority of my time.

Let it Go
2 Roads

 I wanted to eat at this coffee-house which has been established for several years now, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN. This coffee-house is very popular, I have heard it has awesome vegetarian food, Kombucha on tap, and free wi-fi. Many of my friends have wanted to go listen to bands there in the summer and I have refused. They have a wonderful heated outside area for the cooler nights and comfortable furniture to spread out if you want to bring a laptop. So, what has been my hang up for not wanting to go to this AWESOME place? It didn’t register with my husband until we got to the check out. Ohhhhhhhhh….

We walked up to the counter to place our order and there she was and as she turned around to take our order, my husband looked at me like what is Michelle doing? This very nice person told us all the specials, had a huge smile, and was very welcoming to Rich and I as we placed our order. We took our number and went and sat in the corner of this really cool coffee-house restaurant.

My husband immediately asks, “Wow, I am shocked and can’t believe you are being this brave and a bigger person.” Prior to him saying this I had sent my best friend, whom is friends with this person and never understood, WHY I COULD NOT, LET SHIT GO! I sent her my pin of where I was, she wrote, “Awesome step. I know that’s a big one for you. But yeah, life is better without resentment and regret.” Hell yeah! 

The beef between the owner of this coffee-shop and myself went back to my banking years. This woman started working for the same bank I was working at, and because I thought I was a badass of this tiny little barrier island in banking. The only thing I could cling to for many years, was my ego, or what I considered my only identity. Through some tough soul-searching, I realized my banking ego was just a tiny piece of who I am. Now, I don’t even work for a bank any more. It is very easy to get attached to what we think we are and never go within and find the person we were meant to be.

Many moving parts

The real stupid resentment, for this person, came from her wanting to kick me out of my cushy, big, and bad ass corner office. This was just the start of my dislike for this person and then it snowballed. I thought she was the devil and was out to get me. In reality, I just couldn’t let shit go!

I am so happy to see this old nemesis, or person I held resentment for do well. Her restaurant is amazing and I plan to go back. It sounds simple, the process of letting Shit go but it really isn’t. It takes a lot of work and it’s not from someone telling us how to do it. A health and life coach is someone who listens with curiosity, exercises compassion and then offers a few recommendations to propel them forward. People have to heal themselves.

In my house we use the word RESET a lot. My husband and I are learning to say RESET, which is a code word to step away from the discussion and revisit later when we can compose our thoughts. The same goes for our kids. I have one teenager and a very moody preteen girl and the word RESET can be so helpful when you are getting no where in your disagreement.

Let it GO!
PEACE

Below I am going to leave some great references to the process of RESET, LETTING SHIT GO, and most importantly LEARNING TO NOT HOLD ON TO RESENTMENT!

References: 

  1. http://operationselfreset.com/about/
  2. https://tinybuddha.com/blog/surprising-way-let-go-painful-feelings-the-past/
  3. https://masterpieceleader.com/2014/07/08/the-dos-donts-of-curious-listening-tell-me-more-the-foundation-for-relationship-building/
  4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201503/why-we-hold-grudges-and-how-let-them-go

Now doesn’t it feel better? Letting SHIT GO? I mean, like full Coffee Enema, Let GO! Trust the Process!

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Living in the NOW! Being in the Present! Learning to Fly….

How to ease test Anxiety
Learning to FLY

The little girl was playing in the water while her friends family were sun bathing on the shore. The little girl was about 10 years old she always enjoyed a trip to the beach on a summer weekend. On this Saturday, the little girl was playing with a friend and they were seeing how long they could float on their backs.

On this particular day, the little girl noticed several things about laying on her back in the refreshing ocean water. She loved how the waves gently moved her body up and down as the waves drifted to the coast line. The warm sunlight was beating down on her face so she closed her eyes and she loved how the cool water felt on this hot summer day. While she had her eyes closed and gently floating, she realized something new and different than the many times floating on her back in the water. Her ears were just below the waters surface, and the most amazing awareness happened. All her racing thoughts, and static she normally felt and heard of everyday life was paused and almost silent.  This was her first feeling of bliss and a way she could cancel out the loud noise of racing thoughts. The little girl wanted to continue floating when she felt a hand grab her ankle, “Michelle, what are you doing? You are going to float over to France, or a shark is going to gobble you up!” It was my friend, and she was annoyed by my length of time floating and forgetting we were actually playing! This was my first experience of being in the NOW.

Bliss from being Still
Living in the NOW

My daughter and I are preparing for EOG testing. In our state, this is a End of Year Grading Test. This test starts in 3rd grade ,she is currently in 4th grade. This test is an assessment of how well she is meeting grade level expectations. I will give kudos to our little bubble of a community, in our state. My daughters school does a lot of prep work to create a positive atmosphere  preparing for this test. I love her school and the support she gets each day. Every child is different and has unique skills, talents, and ways to shine. Unfortunately, Math and Reading are what our state measures for how well a child is thriving.

This blog is going to be short and its not about beating up on the EOG testing or Core learning we have in public school. What I am most concerned with is the anxiety, a test can cause children. I was watching my daughter walk across the soccer field this evening. She is 10 1/2 now with long legs, long hair, and some energy which is highly contagious. She has taken dance since she was four, and you feel her enthusiasm when she practices her dance routines. She started soccer, a little over a year ago, and is just learning this sport, which channels some of her contagious energy. Sweet daughter of mine, don’t ever let anyone take away your sparkle!

My daughter came up with a really good idea for us to study. She wanted me to ask her practice questions, while she soaks in a epson salt/magnesium bath. She does a lot of activities after school. I realized the epson salt/magnesium was good for her tired muscles and it was relaxing. Anyone who is suffering from a form of anxiety, Magnesium in a daily dose of 100-500 mg qd or bid for a adult, will help ease these symptoms.

Read about how to prepare a Epson Salt, Magnesium Bath.

Help with Anxiety and conquer negative thoughts
Relax its going to be okay

Natural sources of Magnesium would include, avocados, spinach, haddock, oatmeal, navy beans, lima beans, broccoli, bananas, apples, cantaloupe, grapefruit, green leafy vegetables, lemons, nuts, salmon, and sesame seeds. How many of the natural sources does my daughter like? Honestly, she isn’t a fan of many of these. She does like the fruit. The best way to absorb the nutrients is if you combine Calcium, phosphorus, potassium, and vitamins B6, C, and D.

I found a recipe for a tea which is great for anxiety or nervousness. I recommend the book by Anthony William, Life-Changing Foods, Save yourself and ones you love with the hidden healing powers of Fruits and Vegetables. 

2 table spoons lemon balm

1 teaspoon lemon zest

1/2 teaspoon minced thyme leaves

1 teaspoon lemon juice

Mix the lemon balm, lemon zest, and thyme together in a bowl. Boil 4 cups of water. For each serving use 1 teaspoon of blend per 1 cup of hot water. Steep for 5 minutes. If you grow your own Lemon Balm you can make sun tea by steeping in a pitcher for a few hours, in the direct sunlight. This will enhance its nutrient profile in healing. We live in the South of the U.S. and my daughter and I prefer to make this into a Iced Tea.

My mother was a school principal, when I was growing up. She gave me a great gift which was not to label me. I became a great student through her patience and dedication with my study habits. I struggled with test taking and when I was in college I would get these overwhelming feelings. Later, I realized it was anxiety and worry about taking a test. In my early 20’s I discovered jogging and lost this great tool in my early 30’s and picked it back up later in life.

In our society today, I believe expectations and perfectionism are higher than the late 1970’s, when I started school. Perfectionism is a way of thinking that often raises our anxiety level. Since complete perfection isn’t actually possible for anyone to achieve, the more you try to be perfect, the more anxious you will feel because you will continually fall short of your goal.

Below are some peaceful thoughts when you have a anxious thought:

  1. “I am confident.”
  2. “I am lying on the beach.”
  3. “I am filled with peace.”
  4. “I am laughing with friends.”
  5.  “I am calm and relaxed.”

The other night, this little girl while floating in her epson salt/magnesium/bubble bath, talks in a loud voice, through the crack in the door, “Mom I CAN’T hear you anymore. I have my ears underwater and all I hear is my breathing.” Okay my sweet daughter, you have some time to be in the NOW. Peyton, my daughter, enjoy the relaxing bliss for a while. We have studied enough tonight! My daughter is awesome and I love her persistence in learning. Peyton and I have a lot in common, but she is the new improved and is a reboot, and a unique version, and a individual!

I have included a link about Magnesium, and benefits for ADHD and Anxiety. I suffer from ADHD but continue to learn new ways to manage its symptoms. My daughter has never been diagnosed with ADHD or Anxiety but we will continue to help her feel calm and deal with anxiety and worry in a healthy way.

Here is the link about Magnesium and its great benefits.

Learning a new way
Don’t worry about the Past or Future

While writing this blog, I am listening to, Learning to Fly, by Tom Petty. I have added a link for you to listen to as well. What is your interpretation of the song? Here is what I think? This song is about achieving a huge goal. The learning to fly without wings means learning to do something you have never done before and you\’re not sure if you\’re even prepared to do.As with anything great, coming back down is always the hardest part.
Great song. It is okay if you have a different opinion, because this is what makes us all unique.