“If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down.”-Buddha
My husband and I were on the other side of town and determining where we should meet for lunch before an appointment. Let me paint you a picture, our community is barrier islands off the coast of the U.S. state of North Carolina, separate from the mainland and has Route 12, and the beach road. If you catch my drift, we only have two roads, the other side of town is ridiculously close to where I spend the majority of my time.
I wanted to eat at this coffee-house which has been established for several years now, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN. This coffee-house is very popular, I have heard it has awesome vegetarian food, Kombucha on tap, and free wi-fi. Many of my friends have wanted to go listen to bands there in the summer and I have refused. They have a wonderful heated outside area for the cooler nights and comfortable furniture to spread out if you want to bring a laptop. So, what has been my hang up for not wanting to go to this AWESOME place? It didn’t register with my husband until we got to the check out. Ohhhhhhhhh….
We walked up to the counter to place our order and there she was and as she turned around to take our order, my husband looked at me like what is Michelle doing? This very nice person told us all the specials, had a huge smile, and was very welcoming to Rich and I as we placed our order. We took our number and went and sat in the corner of this really cool coffee-house restaurant.
My husband immediately asks, “Wow, I am shocked and can’t believe you are being this brave and a bigger person.” Prior to him saying this I had sent my best friend, whom is friends with this person and never understood, WHY I COULD NOT, LET SHIT GO! I sent her my pin of where I was, she wrote, “Awesome step. I know that’s a big one for you. But yeah, life is better without resentment and regret.” Hell yeah!
The beef between the owner of this coffee-shop and myself went back to my banking years. This woman started working for the same bank I was working at, and because I thought I was a badass of this tiny little barrier island in banking. The only thing I could cling to for many years, was my ego, or what I considered my only identity. Through some tough soul-searching, I realized my banking ego was just a tiny piece of who I am. Now, I don’t even work for a bank any more. It is very easy to get attached to what we think we are and never go within and find the person we were meant to be.
The real stupid resentment, for this person, came from her wanting to kick me out of my cushy, big, and bad ass corner office. This was just the start of my dislike for this person and then it snowballed. I thought she was the devil and was out to get me. In reality, I just couldn’t let shit go!
I am so happy to see this old nemesis, or person I held resentment for do well. Her restaurant is amazing and I plan to go back. It sounds simple, the process of letting Shit go but it really isn’t. It takes a lot of work and it’s not from someone telling us how to do it. A health and life coach is someone who listens with curiosity, exercises compassion and then offers a few recommendations to propel them forward. People have to heal themselves.
In my house we use the word RESET a lot. My husband and I are learning to say RESET, which is a code word to step away from the discussion and revisit later when we can compose our thoughts. The same goes for our kids. I have one teenager and a very moody preteen girl and the word RESET can be so helpful when you are getting no where in your disagreement.
Below I am going to leave some great references to the process of RESET, LETTING SHIT GO, and most importantly LEARNING TO NOT HOLD ON TO RESENTMENT!
Now doesn’t it feel better? Letting SHIT GO? I mean, like full Coffee Enema, Let GO! Trust the Process!